Sol's Avatar

It’s My BDay and I’ll Write a Diatribe…

Knock, knock, 30? It’s me, Sol, and I’m just itching to come in. Only one more year in my 20s! I have always liked the saying: “Do no regret getting older. It is a privilege denied to many.” And it’s very true.

I can honestly say that being 19-, 20-, 21-years old was enjoyable. But I can also honestly say that I wouldn’t want to go back. The life experiences, knowledge, and whatever miniscule amount of wisdom I have accrued in the ensuing years has proven wonderful. The maturity that only comes with years is truly priceless. Instead of dreading the future, I look forward to it. So many amazing things have happened in my life that I feel as though it is only a hint of what’s to come.

Many people have asked me what I would like for birthday gifts. And I feel awkward answering this question. I know many providers have entire pages dedicated to gifts, however, this is not something I am really comfortable with… in response to the people that have asked, I have created two wish lists both under Sol Finer. One is at Amazon ( and the other is at Net-A-Port ( It’s weird because the best gifts I have received have been visits from you. Yes, you. And if I haven’t met you yet, then a visit from you would be something I would treasure. Really. While a shirt or a candle would be nice, spending time with the people in my life I have come to adore is actually priceless.

Having said this, there is one other thing that is incredibly important to me. Strangely, I never set out to be an activist. But I have now been involved with the Seattle chapter of SWOP ( for several months. A donation to SWOP would be incredible. Or, even more so, a donation to SASS ( SASS is the first Seattle Annual Sex Work Symposium. There has been so much press recently (something I touched upon in a recent post) about sex workers. While some of it has been positive, the press has gone hand-in-hand with a tremendous push by the Seattle PD to crack down on sex workers. There was actually an article where a police officer stated there was no such thing as a “happy hooker.” SASS sets out to debunk this myth. There are many, many providers who are independent, work of their own volition, make a reasonable income – on which they pay taxes like everyone else, and simply find the idea they are a victim absurd. Someone like, say, me who are pushed into silence under the very real threat of legal retaliation.

I find the idea that there are women being forced to work against their will abhorrent. The same with underage girls. The same with trafficked women. But there is a clear line of demarcation between these actual victims and providers, like myself, who see this as a job that has flexible hours, incredible co-workers, and great benefits. So if you’d like to do something for me for my birthday, donate to SASS. It is time to educate people unfamiliar with the hobby and let our voices be heard. We are an incredibly diverse group of women, men, transsexuals, camgirls/guys, phone sex operators, pro dommes, foot fetishists….We are black, we are white, we are both, we are Asian, we are married, we are single, we are poly, we are gay/straight/both, we are ivy-league educated, we are high school dropouts, we are mothers/fathers/grandparents, we are members of the PTA, we are soccer coaches. We are providers. And it is time to hear our truth.