This is your friendly reminder that my birthday is coming up. While I am adamantly against a birthday week or a birthday month (a month, really?? I can’t be the only person that thinks this ‘birthday month’ trend is both preposterous and excessive), I do enjoy a good birthday celebration!! If you are reading this, there is a fairly good chance we are friends. It is within the realm of possibility we shared and amazing afternoon/evening/weekend together. Or perhaps I introduced you to one of my pulchritudinous friends so you could have a wonderful afternoon/evening/weekend with them. It could be that both of those things happened!! Or, it could be that you attended one of my events. A night at Revel is going to -without question- be one of the best nights of your life. Are you thinking now would be an opportune time to say thank you by way of a birthday gift for me? I am so flattered you thought of that!!! Let me direct you to my amazon wish list. I have griped about wish lists in the past but they do serve a purpose. Many of the items on the list are helpful for Revel or just helpful!! If you would like to purchase something on there for me, I would be most appreciative. If you’d prefer to simply send me an email to let me know you are thinking of me on this special day – that is also appreciated! Of course, the very best gift would be for you to book some time with me so we could celebrate together!!!
A good friend of mine, Sierra Cirque, is putting together an art project entitled, “Love Letters to Sex Workers.” (Look for it at SEAF!!) A desk and chair are set up in front of a large wooden framed board. Inside the desk drawers are pads of paper and pens from various hotels. The backboard is covered in plain, white envelopes. The provider saved these envelopes from appointment after appointment in which gents would invariably leave their donations for her in plain, white envelopes. After many months, she had a veritable forest of envelopes which she pinned to the board. The project consists of inviting people to sit at the desk and write actual letters to sex workers and leave them in the envelopes. One gentleman wrote such an amazing letter, I asked him if I post it here and he, graciously, said yes.
While much of the initial post-FOSTA/SESTA panic has subsided, the adjustment has been arduous and is ongoing. The landscape of the industry has changed dramatically. The divide between providers and clients has grown. This divide was created with intention by the morality police (I’m looking at you Swanee Hunt.). Previously, providers could chat with prospective clients on any number of boards prior to meeting them. You could get a feel for a client’s personality – were they lighthearted? Funny? Perhaps they had a particular political bent? Or maybe they were earnest and pensive…? How did they interact within the online community? Were they considered a member in good standing? Were other providers weary of them? What kind of reviews did they write? Now the opportunity to get to know prospective clients in this way is gone. The anti’s scream this is increasing safety. Really? It seems that it does just the opposite. But, then, what do I know? I am only a member of the impacted community not a member of the morality police.
Interestingly, for years now, groups like Polaris and Demand Abolition have been vociferous in claiming Backpage was the root of all evil. Not only was Backpage trafficking millions of 12-year olds EVERY SINGLE DAY* but it also regularly drove drunk and killed puppies on weekends. Did you ever wonder where Osama bin Laden was hiding all those years? Backpage. Here’s the thing: they won. Backpage is no more. Why are they still all screaming? Shouldn’t it be rainbows and unicorns all day long?? It’s very confusing.
Also confusing – for both providers and clients – is where to find each other. With numerous established sites closing down and new slapdash sites popping up, the terrain is chaotic. Muddling through can be bewildering and time consuming. Unfortunately, I don’t have much in the way of easy answers here. Time will tell which sites survive and which go the way of CL personals. As of January 2019, P411 is modifying their contact protocol and eliminating ads. Eccie.net went dark for a couple of months but is now back. Slixa.com raised their ad prices…. ummm…. a lot. Which, in a turbulent time for many SWers, can make advertising there prohibitive. Eros has, so far, been steady. There are too many new sites that have popped up in the last ~three months to possibly name them all here.
Here’s the thing: we aren’t going anywhere. No matter what bogus Constitution-defying bills are passed, the erotic service industry will survive. Anyone with even the most basic grasp of economics (supply and demand, anyone?!?) knows this to be true. We will evolve and adapt. We will continue to thrive.
* NO ONE should coerced into this industry. Anyone that is in this industry (at any age) through force, fraud, or coercion should be helped. Immediately. Having said this, according to the 2016 census data, there are ~12 million 12-14 year olds in the US. If half of them are boys, that leaves ~6 million girls. It sure seems improbable that *millions* of a total of 6 million girls are trafficked. Every. Day.
In all likelihood you have heard the clamor in the background of life over the last couple of weeks. The cacophony has been persistent and, seemingly, growing every day. That pullulating maelstrom is the herald of the Whorepocalypse. The sky is falling!! End times are nigh! The rapture is…. Ok, ok, perhaps I am being a tiny bit dramatic. But these are tumultuous times and many in the industry are feeling the discord.
- Backpage is gone.
- Cityvibe is gone.
- P411 is not accepting new US providers (per Gina: “We have no way to verify new providers, since most of the review sites are down or restricted.”).
- Eccie is gone.
- Craigslist is now just a website where you’d buy a used car.
- Reddit shut down all SW-related subreddits.
- TER is available worldwide excluding the US.
There are assuredly more the above list is missing as resources are disappearing at an astonishing clip.
Fosta/sesta was purportedly created to end trafficking. In reality, it is one step in an Orwellian campaign to enforce (*a specific brand of*) morality that prioritizes the eradication of sex work and pornography. Side effects of this campaign include elimination of SWer resources, breakdown of community/communication, public shaming, propagation of stigma, and intentional blurring of lines between legal and illegal SW. That many of these come at the expense of the safety of those in the industry is secondary to the advancement of their cause. Thusly, the proponents of this bill to help save trafficking victims seemingly feel the most advantageous way to do so is to endanger those they claim they are trying to rescue. If you follow that logic.
While fosta/sesta does have some impact on me (more on that later), the most pervasive effects are likely to be felt by those who are most vulnerable. With the closing of BP and CL, there are no national, free or inexpensive ad boards. If a SWer is low on funds, how are they to advertise? They can’t. Those sites have all been shuttered. There is a new site that has free posting called Doublelist. I don’t know much about it and am not sure that, in this climate, this nascent board will survive. Though for survival SWers, Doublelist (or a site akin to it) could be the difference between being able to pay rent and being on the street. On the topic of the street, there is another free option: take a stroll down Aurora. Of course, that means no screening, getting in cars with strangers, more exposure to LE… the hazards of street-based SW increase by degrees of magnitude. As resources disappear, it becomes progressively harder for providers to stay safe. Marginalized and vulnerable SWer populations become more marginalized and more vulnerable. More desperate.
The passage of fosta/sesta was the impetus for me to evaluate my cybersecurity status and implement a few upgrades. When I began working ~4 years ago, I created a gmail address that has been my primary point of contact ever since. Last week, I began phasing out that email and migrating over to protonmail (PM). PM is free, encrypted, and calls Switzerland home. If you are not familiar with it, I would urge you to check it -or an alternate encrypted email application- out. Once my PM account was set up, I did two things: first, I paid $60 to upgrade to a plus account thereby making all emails encrypted. And, second, I went over to NordVPN and paid $70 for a two-year subscription. Both steps were easy and make online communication safer and private. One other issue that needed to be addressed was my website hosting company. Luckily, my web guru was on top of this and my site was smoothly shifted over to a hosting company in the Netherlands that is friendly to adult content.
As I type, it has occurred to me that some may read this post and think these precautions are pertinent for providers only. On the contrary, I would strongly urge anyone to take these steps – set up an encrypted email and VPN. Both can be done in under an hour and are reasonably priced. Other advice for hobbyists is to stick with seeing established, reputable providers – ideally ones that you know. And, should you decide to branch out, ask for referrals from a lady with whom you have an established and trusted relationship. Alternately, many providers have a ‘friends’ page on their website (myself included). These ‘friends’ pages are a good way to safely broaden your horizons.
These are tumultuous times and the industry is evolving. No matter how many laws are passed or what hyberpole is shouted by abolitionists, the industry isn’t going away. The bible was (allegedly) written something like 3500 years ago and you may be familiar with a prominent character in that book named Mary…. Sex work will endure. We do, however, have to be aware and take measures to keep ourselves, and each other, safe.
Ok, I am pretty late with this thank you but better late than never, right?!? You may have noticed I have a new website. Pretty spiffy, huh? I think so! Not surprisingly, I did not do this myself. The incredible Cory from Honey Butter is due the credit. He is amazing. Being a type-A means endless (and I do mean endless) questions. I have to be involved with every, single detail. Cory is patient, creative, and kind. I appreciate him so very much. It’s possible we went back and forth on whether or not to have a wish list page a thousand times (my issues with this are well documented!). My prior site worked well for it’s time. Unfortunately, it had gotten a little stale and I really wanted to a completely different look. The end result is lovely and I am super happy. A big thank you to Cory and Honey Butter!!
People ask me about Revel all the time. They want to know ALL the details. Who was there? What happened? Two girls at once? Three? What happened in the jacuzzi?!?! The libertines like to know they have company in their debauchery!!! Unfortunately, it’s difficult to encapsulate an event like Revel in a few words (as any of the attendees can attest!). It’s an experience. Each one is unique. And amazing. Last night was all of those things and more. There are times when everything just gels. The people ‘click’ and the energy…. the energy is out of control. Last night was that night. So much so that the inviolable no camera rule was broken for the above pic. It was taken at the end of the evening, at the close of an all ladies romp in one of the upstairs bedrooms. It began with four ladies but that number quickly increased to culminate in a sweaty, bed shaking, sheet shredding, carnival of entwined limbs. Oh man!! This, this is the stuff that fantasies are made of!! They say a picture is worth a thousand words. For everyone that asks me about Revel, see above pic.
Ok, sybarites, until the spring party….
There are tons of women’s magazines, beauty blogs, and shows about women’s beauty. The products, the regimen, the torture, and so on. However, I came across an article on Vice about penis extenders. In the midst of the article were two videos. One was the video ad for the aforementioned penis extenders and the second featured Scrotox. Don’t know what Scrotox is? I didn’t either. It is Botox for men’s scrotums. Seriously.
There’s a lot to unpack in the above paragraph. Let’s start with penis extenders. As if the millions of “magic pills” that allegedly enlarge your penis weren’t enough, now there is a physical device that claims to enlarge a man’s penis by up to 35%. I wonder if there will ever be time when we evolve enough to stop with the penile enlargement stuff. Here’s the thing: I don’t want you to have a monstrous cock. All that means is you are going to be pounding against my cervix. That is uncomfortable, if not outright painful, for me. And, actually, for you too since you will just be banging against the tip of my IUD. As I understand it, that sucker is rather prickly. The net result: everybody is unhappy. My suggestion is to be happy with what genetics gave you. If you are looking for an area to improve, try for technique. That will make all parties participating much more orgasmic!! Learn what makes your partner pant, tremble, and beg for more. I can guarantee you it is not an 12″ cock.
Now Scrotox…. this is too much. Or perhaps because I don’t have testicles I don’t understand the urge to Botox them. Perhaps there are tons of men out there that feel terribly self-conscious about the appearance of their balls. They have spent years yearning for smoother, larger looking testicles and Scrotox is the answer to their prayers. Scrotox claims to smooth out wrinkles, and make the testicles appear both more descended and larger. Though I feel this way about pretty much any beauty treatment that involves jamming needles into your body, I have to ask… is this really necessary? First world problems, for sure. According the video on Vice, the Scrotox worked and the test subject claimed he was happy with the results. This just make me more curious. If anyone has had this treatment, I would like to hear about it. I am fascinated by the motivation and the outcome. Does smoother testicles make you more confident in bed? Is it strictly a mental boost? Or is it as silly as I imagine? No women I know would be so delighted with a man’s smoother balls that it makes her come. In fact, most women are pretty indifferent to testicles. I mean they may be fun to play with for a minute or two but they definitely are not the main attraction!!
Hey friend! Are you, by any chance, a supporter of free speech? If you are here, I should sure hope so. Do you read, post, write reviews, or maybe just lurk on any boards? If you do, keep reading. If you don’t, know that this could severely impact me and all of my colleagues that you enjoy spending time with so you should keep reading anyway. Plus, free speech. As so many of you know, I have a big mouth. Some of my views are distinctly unpopular. But, just like you, I have the right to express them. Let’s keep it that way.
Briefly and from the EFF Action website:
“There’s a new bill in Congress that would threaten your right to free expression online. If that weren’t enough, it could also put small Internet businesses in danger of catastrophic litigation.”
Don’t let the name fool you: the Stop Enabling Sex Traffickers Act (SESTA) wouldn’t help punish sex traffickers. What it would do is expose the Internet content platforms that we all rely on every day to the risk of overwhelming criminal and civil liability for their actions.
SESTA would erode one of the most important laws protecting free expression online. Under current law, an intermediary (like a social media platform or a message board) can’t be held legally responsible for the content created by its users for purposes of enforcing certain laws affecting speech online.
SESTA would extend more criminal and civil liability for sex trafficking to content platforms, thus making opening or running such a platform an extremely dangerous venture. The law would affect any company, organization, or individual that hosts content created by someone else on the Internet: social media sites, photo and video-sharing apps, newspaper comment sections, and even community mailing lists. Small Internet startups would become vulnerable to extremely costly legal threats. So would web platforms run by nonprofit and community groups, which serve as invaluable outlets for free expression and knowledge sharing.”
Please copy and paste the link below to automatically send emails to all your reps. Simply enter your name/address and it will contact your representatives with a strongly worded email demanding they NOT support this bill. It takes approximately 15 seconds to do. Thank you!!