At the request of a favored client, I have updated my wish lists. As I have mentioned previously, I was a bit conflicted even posting these… My clients give so much to me already, I am uncomfortable setting an expectation of more. Please, please know there are absolutely no expectations here. I acknowledge that there are some folks that enjoy bestowing their friends with gifts that are of a tangible nature. As a person like that myself, I understand the motivation. However, there are people that choose to express themselves in other ways. I appreciate that equally.

Now that we have cleared that up… Feel free to peruse my wish list at Net-A-Porter: https://www.net-a-porter.com/wishlist/ I love this site. Absolutely everything on it simultaneously makes me swoon and makes me giggle at the absurdity of it. $30 for nail polish – who doesn’t pay that?! $390 for a pair on underwear – naturally!! But, also, hot damn do they have some SEXY lingerie. La Perla, Agent Provocateur, and Carine Gilson… They have, in all seriousness, an Agent Provocateur playsuit for $3990. See how they did that?? It isn’t $4000 so it is totally a reasonable price. What’s worse is: I want it. Badly. Then they have the La Perla neoprene bra for $1460. Scuba couture – who knew?? And the shoes – where is my fainting couch?? Just. So. Sexy.

Wait for it, ahh… here it is: my nerdy side emerges. You can find that at: http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/367B4438SBYM5/ref=cm_wl_huc_view I love books. And summer break is my time to fly through as many as possible before I return to a reading list that is oriented around 17-century epic poetry. To be clear, I prefer the used books that cost $0.01. Trees are great; the less we cut down the better. Thusly, no need for new books.

And this concludes our consumer moment. Our return to sexy programming is imminent!

Some pretty intense personal issues have kept me from working much the last week or so but there are a couple of things that absolutely require noting. The first is the Supreme Court’s landmark ruing for marriage equality. #LoveWins. Clicking through the New York Times slideshow of photos brought tears to my eyes. It was edifying to see folks that have been together for decades, finally, getting to apply for marriage licenses. These are people that when they first met (one of the couples had been together for over 50 years) would have been in hiding. Living lives filled with shame, guilt, and called perverts – or much, much worse.

Yet they persevered. They believed in each other, their love, and that the close-minded people around them would eventually come to accept them as equals. And, even if the world shunned them, they had each other. Thankfully we evolve. Social stigmas fade. The apocryphal sophistry of homosexual equating to pedophile became something that only the most close-minded of bigots would perpetuate. Finger pointing was replaced by insouciance. The majority of people simply stopped caring what happened behind the closed doors of the two attractive men that live in the exceptionally well-appointed one-bedroom apartment down the hall.

Don’t get me wrong. All is not peaches and cream in the world. Anyone that read Scalia’s execrable dissent on the vote knows there is still a long way to go for true, true equality. But, in this moment, on this weekend, there is more than enough to celebrate. It is Pride and there is a parade and parties… and so many people have a real reason to celebrate. As well they should. Happy Pride!!!!

Several days ago Nyx Callaway posted a question on TRB asking “Ads: Tell me what helps…” This sparked quite a discussion on what was the best approach to writing an effective ad. It was interesting to see the various points of view presented by different hobbyists – as well as the few providers that chimed in. This got me thinking and a day or so later I posted a question: “Ads: Conversely – what is an absolute “no” in an ad?” This further precipitated an extensive discussion. Again, it was absolutely fascinating to see disparate views put forth by people.

What was intriguing is that there seemed to be very little in the way of general consensus on either side. For every person that said they didn’t like too much text, there was someone else that said they really like to get a feel for the provider and preferred they include text. Oh, wait, there was consensus one thing: photos. Almost uniformly, it seems there is a strong preference for current, not photoshopped pics. Although that seems like a fairly obvious inclusion.

Other than that, they replies were all over the map. Tell me about yourself, but don’t talk about yourself too much. Definitely show that you are an upscale provider but don’t give off a vibe of exclusivity because that is off-putting (which I totally get). Don’t tOgGlE your TeXt which is another one I heartily agree with. But be sure to keep your text concise and interesting. Make sure whatever you do write is grammatically correct. Or not. Because (according to some) most guys aren’t going to bother reading it anyways! Like I said, all over the map.

There were a few things that were definite takeaways. The aforementioned non-toggling of text, don’t be a snob, and use good photos. As some of you already know, I write ads for quite a few providers in Seattle and elsewhere. If anyone out there has additional comments to add to this discussion, email me. I am quite interested in hearing what works. What attracts you to one ad and repels you from another? What are your “red flags”? I’d love to hear your opinion.

The response from the first orgy was overwhelming. Overwhelmingly positive that is 😉 Within 48 hours of the event, I had thank you notes from -literally- every single person that attended saying that had an amazing time. It exceeded every expectation I had and made me squirm with glee. Given the response, I decided the best thing to do was to have another party. Which is exactly what I am going to do! Although, having done this once now, I have some experience to use as a jumping off point and there will be some changes.

First, the timing is going to shift a bit. The first event began at 8pm. This one is going to start at 7pm. That is a minor detail. Second, and something that is far more exciting to me is that there are several couples that have expressed an interest in attending. This is delightful and I am just thrilled. It will change the dynamic a bit but I think it will do so only in the very best way. Needless to say, I am absolutely ecstatic to be hosting a second party and can’t wait to see how this one plays out!!

Oh man… thoughtless jerk here. You may be (not at all) surprised to hear that I did not pull this orgy off all by myself. It is incredibly important to note that an event of this scale and complexity did not happen with a simple twitch of the nose. A HUGE thank you goes out to the many people that helped. There were folks that fielded my initial calls when I had no idea how to even begin planning an orgy, the people that helped with logistics and those that showed up early to help set up and stayed late to help clean up.

While there are too many people to mention every single one, I would like to take a moment to acknowledge several that went above and beyond: Savannah Sly for being my initial go-to; Arch for throwing idea after idea at me and making me think, think, think of so many things (I’m sad you couldn’t join us since you had so many ideas that were helpful in putting the whole thing together!!); Sola Love – brought not only a massage table and a Sybian but also her expertise, advice, masks, heated massage oils, extra linens, I could go on…. oh, AND her luscious body; Charles for being one of my very first brainstorming partners who gave me much invaluable advice; and Raven who came through day-of with extra masks, paper goods, and she was also kind enough to bring along her smoking hot bod – yowza!!! Tyler, house mom extraordinaire and whom Samantha Maddox dubbed the “ninja lube fairy”: he was everywhere he needed to be all night long making sure there were always condoms, lube, towels, bottles of water, and whatever was needed wherever it was needed at the exact moment someone realized they needed it. That kind of incredible timing must be a superpower, right? I mean he was the only person on all three floors that was fully dressed (by some point he was the only person on three floors with a stitch of clothing on!) and yet he remained completely unobtrusive. And, finally, this event seriously would not have happened without the help of my other half, the yin to my yang, the tall to my short, the blond to my brunette, my incall mate and my partner in crime: Lauren Love. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!! My friends rock!!!!

I’m not the first girl to say this and certainly won’t be the last: I really love my job. It is my escape. So much of my time is dedicated to schoolwork that my three clients a week are the times I look forward to most. It is my opportunity to turn my brain off and turn my senses on. Instead of worrying about primary source material, I get to explore, tease, tantalize, give and receive pleasure… it is absolute heaven. Seriously.

The other day there was a small incident that caused some literal fireworks. Now, normally I prefer the fireworks to be of the erotic kind. As in: “Sol, you blew my mind! I swear it was like the Fourth of July!!” However, last week a very different incident occurred. It happened when a client was using his exceptionally talented mouth on me. In my writhing, my head had somehow gotten mushed into the top of the bed and was under a pillow. In the throes of, well, orgasmic ecstasy, I threw the offending pillow out of my way. And, unbeknownst to me, directly onto the nightstand which just happened to have several lit candles on it. The pillow went up in flames. Thankfully, my quick thinking client grabbed the pillow and stomped it out. The rescue was not without injury – his hand suffered several small burn marks. And, wow, did I feel bad. I mean, it is definitely a compliment to any man that a woman can be so distracted by his oral skills that a flaming pillow doesn’t even register. However, I would like to take this opportunity to thank him for his quick thinking and for, quite literally, saving the day. My hero!

We took a short break to apply burn cream and clean up the detritus of the fire. Then I felt it was my duty to make sure the said client knew just how appreciative I was of his efforts. And I am pretty sure he did 😉 However, I would just like to again say to this person – thank you!! Not only for the spectacular oral skills but also for the quick thinking!! And, as I told him, I look forward to making it up to him again and again in a future meeting. I take my apologies very seriously!!

Last Thursday marked the latest in a string of super successful parties. And by “parties” I mean orgies. It was a testament to the thriving libidos of our fine Seattlites (and visiting friends) that we partied on in spite of all the madness of the last few weeks. Although since none of the participants were Asian or trafficked, it seems we don’t meet the SPD criteria for needing to be “saved” – thank goodness!! We did have a few ladies that declined to participate for fear of men in SWAT uniforms bursting through the doors. Alas, no such luck (who doesn’t love a man in uniform?!?). The party was nothing short of a huge fucking success. Emphasis on fucking.

We had rented an amazing six-bedroom house in Capitol Hill that came complete with an eight-person jacuzzi. The space was gorgeous and seemed tailor made for our debauchery. There was a large kitchen/living room that, at one point, was just a thriving, writhing mass of bodies. The voyeur in me loved it. Of course the participant in me meant that I only got to watch for a minute or two before diving in, er, face first. I am pretty sure my face landed somewhere between Raven’s thighs but, you know, bodies get blurry when there are that many!! We also got so very lucky in having the absolutely gorgeous Danielle as our in-house FBSM girl for the evening. Not only does she have exceptionally talented hands but, well, let’s just say she really got into the spirit of things!! And our gents – wow. We had such an amazing group of guys at this party. It was incredible. Hats off to Old Cowboy who at 91-years young was an absolute stud. When I grow up, I want to be him!!

These parties are very much a labor of love for me. It takes tremendous planning and a huge amount of time/energy/endless emails to make everything (ahem!) come together. But then once it is the night of the party-it is all so very worth it! Until next time…

It seems like only yesterday that I went to my very first TRB party. There was dancing (hello Twinkle Toes!!), laughing, and I met so, so many wonderful people. It was not yesterday. That was back in October at the Halloween party. Time certainly does fly when you are having fun! Now it is already time for the Valentine’s Day party. While Halloween was, of course, a costume party, the V-day party is cocktail dress required. Which, naturally, raises the dilemma of finding the perfect dress. It must be sexy(!!!) yet understated, a head turner yet classy, and appealing without flashing the world my lady parts. Finding such a dress is more difficult than it would seem.

Given my predicament, I would like some help. If you could make your way over to www.shopbop.com, you will find a wish list under Sol Finer. If you feel very strongly towards a specific dress, you are welcome to just have it shipped to the townhouse (sizes and info are already saved there). Otherwise, please send your opinions/suggestions to solo.finer@gmail.com. Thank you!!

The short answer: yes. The long answer: I am offering a service and clients understand that they purchase my time. I work of my own volition as an independent provider. I report to no one, have neither boss nor bureaucracy to deal with, create my own schedule as companion to my revolving academic calendar… what’s not like? Initially I was attracted to this more out of curiosity than anything else. I am naturally inquisitive and, while I had plenty of experience, I felt like there was just… more out there. A little over a year ago I had ended a long-term relationship, moved across the country and begun work on an advanced degree. It was a paradigm shift in my world in so many ways.

To be clear, I was never starved for attention or intimacy; on the contrary, I had, had plenty of sex. Lots of good sex. Some great sex. And the occasional mind-blowing orgasm thrown in there for good measure. Although in all truth, I have always been a fan of quality over quantity so while I had lots of sex, it was with very few people. My point is, there was More, I just knew it. And I wanted in. My personality leans towards empathic and I’ve always enjoyed giving people pleasure. It didn’t seem like an outrageous idea to begin work as a provider – in equal measure to give others pleasure and explore my own sexuality. As a single female in my almost 30s, I wanted to push my own boundaries – heck, I wasn’t even sure what my boundaries were! And, while some scream about the dangers of this industry (which are very real – safety is not be taken lightly), it seemed like working in my own controlled environment with clients that were screened/verified was a safer bet than randomly taking home strangers from bars to help me figure out what I liked. Moreover, self-selecting seemed to defeat the purpose of my expedition.

I can say with 100% honestly that I have never regretted my decision. The butterflies before meeting a client for the first time; the mystery of what is on the other side of the door; the initial engagement; the chemistry of elements to create intense physical and emotional joy; post-coital chatter when the walls are down and the normal societal enforced sense of decorum is absent and honesty is present; interacting with people of all ages, races, and physical proportions; finding out that what turns me on in my head isn’t always what makes my toes curl in real life – or sometimes finding out it is… Above all else, the people that I’ve met have changed my life – and not just in the bedroom. These are people that I never in a million years would have met if not for the hobby. Men and women that I have come to trust and value as friends and partners – it makes me so grateful. I feel incredibly lucky and try very hard not to take my life for granted.

Yes. The answer is: yes, I very much like what I do for work.

Everyone has bad experiences in this industry. That’s on both sides: provider and client. It is just kind of par for the course. Except, I have never really had a bad experience. Until, that is, just the other day. And, really, on the scale of bad experiences, this one is very, very minor. It turned out that a potential client had wasted a tremendous amount of my time (time I don’t really have…. Thesis, will write yourself? No? I didn’t think so.).

That was really it. There were many emails back and forth – he was, admittedly new to the hobby. After the initial screening process, most read something like: Are you free now? me: No. Are you free in an hour? me: No. I explained to him a number of times that approach rarely works with me and he really needed to make an appointment. Finally, he did. And then blew it off.

I am not sure if clients understand the preparations we go through for an appointment. And if you would prefer it remain a mystery, by all means, skip to the next paragraph. I need to get over to my incall, shower, shave my legs, attempt to tame my unruly hair, make-up, set up the towel warmer, light candles, music, etc. Each of these is only a few minutes but all together I usually arrive at my incall an hour or an hour and a half before my client is scheduled to show up. Also, I try to be ready about ten minutes before the scheduled time just in case they are early.

So not only was time wasted on the emails but then about two hours of my day was wasted on getting “all dressed up with no place to go.” Two hours during the week before Christmas when I can assure you I have a to-do list that is a mile long. Annnnd I will stop complaining now.

Because what happened after really blew me away. I sent out an email to the provider network (in Seattle, we are a very tight community) that included this gentleman’s info. I mentioned he did not seem like a bad guy but, in light of the wasted time, I would suggest any girl he contacts to get a non-refundable deposit from him prior to an appointment. If I can save one gal all the wasted time and hassle I went through, well, then it’s all good.

The response from the women in Seattle…. amazing. It warmed my heart. Almost every single girl I emailed responded with a thank you and some wonderfully kind words. These girls, superficially, are my competition. However, I don’t view it that way. Seattle is a big city and there is work enough for all of us. It is incredible that so many of my co-workers share this view and instead of competing, we work together to keep each other safe and informed. Nevermind the outpouring of compassion – I got so many, “I’m glad you are ok.” emails I thought my eyes were going to start leaking.

In this season of holiday cheer, I would like to wish each and every one of you a very happy holiday!! I hope your days are filled with love, laughter, and warmth. Merry merry!!!